With my organization, Parents’ Universal Resource Experts, we hear from parents on a daily basis. I can’t count the number of times parents call us when their teenager has become or nearing the legal age to be considered an adult (18 years old) and realize that all their hoping and praying that the negative behavior would change, is only escalating. Don’t be a parent in denial – be a responsible parent and help to get your teenager on a positive track for their future. Don’t wait until you are at your Wit’s End!
“My 18 year old is out of control and I am at my wits end! What can I do?” – Anonymous Parent.
18 – 19 year old teens can be the most difficult to address simply because they are considered adults and cannot be forced to get help. As parents, we have limited to no control. Practicing “Tough Love” is easier said than done, many parents cannot let their child reach rock bottom – as parent’s, we see our child suffering – whether it is needing groceries or a roof over their head and it is hard to shut the door on them.
I think this is one of the most important reasons that if you are a parent of a 16-17 year old that is out of control, struggling, defiant, using drugs and alcohol, or other negative behavior – I believe it is time to look for intervention NOW. I am not saying it needs to be a residential treatment center or a program out of the home, but at least start with local resources such as therapists that specialize with adolescents and preferable offer support groups.
It is unfortunate that in most cases the local therapy is very limited how it can help your teen. The one hour once a week or even twice, is usually not enough to make permanent changes. Furthermore getting your defiant teen to attend sessions can sometimes cause more friction and frustrations than is already happening.
This is the time to consider outside help such as a Therapeutic Boarding School or Residential Treatment Center. However these parents with the 18-19 year olds have usually missed their opportunity. They were hoping and praying that at 16 – 17 things would change, but unfortunately, if not address, the negative behavior usually escalates.
In the past 9+ years I have heard from thousands of parents – and most are hoping to get their child through High School and will be satisfied with a GED. It is truly a sad society of today’s teens when many believe they can simply drop out of school. Starting as early as 14 years old, many teens are thinking this way and we need to be sure they know the consequences of not getting an education. Education in today’s world should be our children’s priority however with today’s peer pressure and entitlement issues, it seems to have drifted from education to defiance – being happy just having fun and not being responsible.
I think there are many parents that debate whether they should take that desperate measure of sending a child to a program and having them escorted there – but in the long run – you need to look at these parents that have 18-19 year olds that don’t have that opportunity. While you have this option, and it is a major decision that needs to be handled with the utmost reality of what will happen if things don’t change.
The closer they are to 18 – the more serious issues can become legally. If a 17+ year old gets in trouble with the law, in many states they will be tried as an adult. This can be scary since most of these kids are good kids making very bad choices and don’t deserve to get caught up the system. As a parent I believe it is our responsible not to be selfish and be open to sending the outside of the home. It is important not to view this as a failure as a parent, but as a responsible parent that is willing to sacrifice your personal feelings to get your child the help they need.
At 18, it is unfortunate, these kids are considered adults – and as parents we basically lose control to get them the help they need. In many cases, if teen/adult know they have no other alternatives and this is the only option the parents will support, they will attend.
Showing posts with label At Wits End. Show all posts
Showing posts with label At Wits End. Show all posts
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
Wit's End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out of Control Teen by Sue Scheff
Learn more about Wit's End at www.witsendbook.com and author Sue Scheff at www.suescheff.com -the response has been overwhelming! If you are struggling with your teen today - pick up Wit's End and learn more!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens Today
Are you at your wit’s end?
Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent? You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together.
Is your teen escalating out of control?
Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful?
Is your teen manipulative? Running your household?
Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior?
Is your teen angry, violent or rage outbursts?
Is your teen verbally abusive?
Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn?
Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals?
Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol?
Does your teen belong to a gang?
Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time?
Has their appearance changed – piercing, tattoo’s, inappropriate clothing?
Has your teen stopped participating in sports, clubs, church and family functions? Have they become withdrawn from society?
Is your teen very intelligent yet not working up to their potential? Underachiever? Capable of doing the work yet not interested in education.
Does he/she steal?
Is your teen sexually active?
Teen pregnancy?
Is your teen a good kid but making bad choices?
Undesirable peers? Is your teen a follower or a leader?
Low self esteem and low self worth?
Lack of motivation? Low energy?
Mood Swings? Anxiety?
Teen depression that leads to negative behavior?
Eating Disorders? Weight loss? Weight gain?
Self-Harm or Self Mutilation?
High School drop-out?
Suspended or Expelled from school?
Suicidal thoughts or attempts?
ADD/ADHD/LD/ODD?
Is your teen involved in legal problems? Have they been arrested?
Juvenile Delinquent?
Conduct Disorder?
Bipolar?
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?
Does your teen refuse to take accountability and always blame others for their mistakes?
Do you feel hopeless, helpless and powerless over what options you have as a parent? Are you at your wit’s end?
Does any of the above sound familiar? Many parents are at their wit’s end by the time they contact us, but the most important thing many need to know is you are not alone. There is help but the parent needs to be proactive and educate themselves in getting the right help.
Many try local therapy, which is always recommended, but in most cases, this is a very temporary band-aid to a more serious problem. One or two hours a week with a therapist is usually not enough to make the major changes that need to be done.
If you feel you are at your wit’s end and are considering outside resources, please contact us. http://www.helpyourteens.com/free_information.shtml An informed parent is an educated parent and will better prepare to you to make the best decision for your child. It is critical not to place your child out of his/her element. In many cases placing a teen that is just starting to make bad choices into a hard core environment may cause more problems. Be prepared – do your homework.
Many parents are in denial and keep hoping and praying the situation is going to change. Unfortunately in many cases, the problems usually escalate without immediate attention. Don’t be parents in denial; be proactive in getting your teen the appropriate help they may need. Whether it is local therapy or outside the home assistance, be in command of the situation before it spirals out of control and you are at a place of desperation. At wit’s end is not a pleasant place to be, but so many of us have been there.
Finding the best school or program for your child is one of the most important steps a parent does. Remember, your child is not for sale – don’t get drawn into high pressure sales people, learn from my mistakes. Read my story at www.aparentstruestory.com for the mistakes I made that nearly destroyed my daughter.
In searching for schools and programs we look for the following:
· Helping Teens - not Harming them
· Building them up - not Breaking them down
· Positive and Nurturing Environments - not Punitive
· Family Involvement in Programs - not Isolation from the teen
· Protect Children - not Punish them
Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent? You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together.
Is your teen escalating out of control?
Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful?
Is your teen manipulative? Running your household?
Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior?
Is your teen angry, violent or rage outbursts?
Is your teen verbally abusive?
Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn?
Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals?
Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol?
Does your teen belong to a gang?
Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time?
Has their appearance changed – piercing, tattoo’s, inappropriate clothing?
Has your teen stopped participating in sports, clubs, church and family functions? Have they become withdrawn from society?
Is your teen very intelligent yet not working up to their potential? Underachiever? Capable of doing the work yet not interested in education.
Does he/she steal?
Is your teen sexually active?
Teen pregnancy?
Is your teen a good kid but making bad choices?
Undesirable peers? Is your teen a follower or a leader?
Low self esteem and low self worth?
Lack of motivation? Low energy?
Mood Swings? Anxiety?
Teen depression that leads to negative behavior?
Eating Disorders? Weight loss? Weight gain?
Self-Harm or Self Mutilation?
High School drop-out?
Suspended or Expelled from school?
Suicidal thoughts or attempts?
ADD/ADHD/LD/ODD?
Is your teen involved in legal problems? Have they been arrested?
Juvenile Delinquent?
Conduct Disorder?
Bipolar?
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?
Does your teen refuse to take accountability and always blame others for their mistakes?
Do you feel hopeless, helpless and powerless over what options you have as a parent? Are you at your wit’s end?
Does any of the above sound familiar? Many parents are at their wit’s end by the time they contact us, but the most important thing many need to know is you are not alone. There is help but the parent needs to be proactive and educate themselves in getting the right help.
Many try local therapy, which is always recommended, but in most cases, this is a very temporary band-aid to a more serious problem. One or two hours a week with a therapist is usually not enough to make the major changes that need to be done.
If you feel you are at your wit’s end and are considering outside resources, please contact us. http://www.helpyourteens.com/free_information.shtml An informed parent is an educated parent and will better prepare to you to make the best decision for your child. It is critical not to place your child out of his/her element. In many cases placing a teen that is just starting to make bad choices into a hard core environment may cause more problems. Be prepared – do your homework.
Many parents are in denial and keep hoping and praying the situation is going to change. Unfortunately in many cases, the problems usually escalate without immediate attention. Don’t be parents in denial; be proactive in getting your teen the appropriate help they may need. Whether it is local therapy or outside the home assistance, be in command of the situation before it spirals out of control and you are at a place of desperation. At wit’s end is not a pleasant place to be, but so many of us have been there.
Finding the best school or program for your child is one of the most important steps a parent does. Remember, your child is not for sale – don’t get drawn into high pressure sales people, learn from my mistakes. Read my story at www.aparentstruestory.com for the mistakes I made that nearly destroyed my daughter.
In searching for schools and programs we look for the following:
· Helping Teens - not Harming them
· Building them up - not Breaking them down
· Positive and Nurturing Environments - not Punitive
· Family Involvement in Programs - not Isolation from the teen
· Protect Children - not Punish them
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) - Teen Depression
Depression
The face of depression is getting younger. In a recent survey, 23% of young adults reported symptoms of serious depression before the age of 20—up from just 2% a generation ago. The reasons range from increased pressure in school to rising divorce rates among parents, experts say.
“My parents went through an awful divorce my ninth-grade year, and I was devastated,” says 18 year-old Brittany.
Parents often mis-interpret the signs of depression. Some kids may become lethargic and withdrawn, as expected, while others may show agitation, frustration and aggression. For school-aged children a drop in grades could also be an indicator. Unfortunately, it often provokes punishment rather than sympathy.
Psychologist Sunaina Jain says, “Rather than thinking of children’s misbehaviors as discipline problems or misbehaviors as deliberate, it’s important to see them as communication from the child. This is the child’s way of telling you how he or she is feeling”
Experts say that, given the new reality, a quarter of all kids will experience depression. Parents need to make sure they take a constant measure of their child’s emotional pulse.
What Parents Should Know
Emotional anchors are fewer and further between for many kids. In years past kids spent more time with parents, grandparents and neighbors than they do now, says USA Today.
Kids look to parents for emotional support and reassurance. With the amount of time parents and children spending together on a downward trend, many children are feeling alone—isolated.
In the past, when Mom and Dad weren’t around, grandparent or neighbors were likely to be at arms reach, but not anymore, studies say. Grandparents aren’t as accessible and families now move an average of every seven years, compared to every 21 years three decades ago. Adjusting to a new neighborhood every few years makes it more difficult to develop strong and lasting neighborly relations.
With the odds of smooth sailing being less and less for children, parents should be extra cautious of children’s emotional status. They need support. They need reassurance. They need an emotional anchor.
The face of depression is getting younger. In a recent survey, 23% of young adults reported symptoms of serious depression before the age of 20—up from just 2% a generation ago. The reasons range from increased pressure in school to rising divorce rates among parents, experts say.
“My parents went through an awful divorce my ninth-grade year, and I was devastated,” says 18 year-old Brittany.
Parents often mis-interpret the signs of depression. Some kids may become lethargic and withdrawn, as expected, while others may show agitation, frustration and aggression. For school-aged children a drop in grades could also be an indicator. Unfortunately, it often provokes punishment rather than sympathy.
Psychologist Sunaina Jain says, “Rather than thinking of children’s misbehaviors as discipline problems or misbehaviors as deliberate, it’s important to see them as communication from the child. This is the child’s way of telling you how he or she is feeling”
Experts say that, given the new reality, a quarter of all kids will experience depression. Parents need to make sure they take a constant measure of their child’s emotional pulse.
What Parents Should Know
Emotional anchors are fewer and further between for many kids. In years past kids spent more time with parents, grandparents and neighbors than they do now, says USA Today.
Kids look to parents for emotional support and reassurance. With the amount of time parents and children spending together on a downward trend, many children are feeling alone—isolated.
In the past, when Mom and Dad weren’t around, grandparent or neighbors were likely to be at arms reach, but not anymore, studies say. Grandparents aren’t as accessible and families now move an average of every seven years, compared to every 21 years three decades ago. Adjusting to a new neighborhood every few years makes it more difficult to develop strong and lasting neighborly relations.
With the odds of smooth sailing being less and less for children, parents should be extra cautious of children’s emotional status. They need support. They need reassurance. They need an emotional anchor.
***********************
Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?
Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff: At Risk Teens
by Connect with Kids
The Risk Within
Today, the number-one killer of adolescents is not disease or illness; it is accidental injury, often caused by risky behavior. Kids’ lives depend on the choices they make - choices to drink and drive, to take drugs, to have unprotected sex - or to say no.
Of course, not all risks are harmful, and in fact, taking some risks - trying out for a sports team or the school play, asking someone out, learning a new skill - is a valuable part of growing up. What can you do to help children make smart choices? How can you prevent them from hurting themselves or others?
Kids don’t always listen to adult warnings about the consequences of risky behaviors... but they will listen to the kids in The Risk Within- kids they can relate to... stories they can learn from and talk about with parents and teachers.
This Connect with Kids has been awarded the Parents’ Choice Award. Programs are used in homes and schools across the country, recommended by teachers, Safe and Drug Free Counselors, health counselors and other educators.
***************************
Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.
The Risk Within
Today, the number-one killer of adolescents is not disease or illness; it is accidental injury, often caused by risky behavior. Kids’ lives depend on the choices they make - choices to drink and drive, to take drugs, to have unprotected sex - or to say no.
Of course, not all risks are harmful, and in fact, taking some risks - trying out for a sports team or the school play, asking someone out, learning a new skill - is a valuable part of growing up. What can you do to help children make smart choices? How can you prevent them from hurting themselves or others?
Kids don’t always listen to adult warnings about the consequences of risky behaviors... but they will listen to the kids in The Risk Within- kids they can relate to... stories they can learn from and talk about with parents and teachers.
This Connect with Kids has been awarded the Parents’ Choice Award. Programs are used in homes and schools across the country, recommended by teachers, Safe and Drug Free Counselors, health counselors and other educators.
***************************
Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
"Wit's End!" by Sue Scheff founder of P.U.R.E.
Troubled teens, struggling teens, teen depression, teen rage, teen anger, adopted teens, out of control teens, at risk teens, substance abuse, runaways, difficult teens - at wit's end!
Pre-order "Wit's End" now.
Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?
Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Sue Scheff - P.U.R.E. Satisfaction!
Wow - in 2001 when I created Parent's Universal Resource Experts, Inc. (P.U.R.E.) I never dreamed it would explode the way it has! For 7 years we have been successfully helping thousands of families with their struggling teens and pre-teens. Sometimes it is simply listening and guiding them to local therapists and sometimes it is helping them sort through the confusion of this "child-for-profit" industry.
Whatever the reason a parent, relative, therapist or other professionals call us, we have always been supportive and tried our best to give them resources.
Over the years we have had less than a handful of complaints - which is a very good ratio in consideration that we are working with usually desperate situations and families in crisis. We have received and assisted literally over 10,000 families and are very proud to say we have many letters of gratitude. It is also an honor to be a long standing Member of the Better Business Bureau.
I have been interviewed by many reporters and appeared on TV and Radio - in today's society of teens and the peer pressure they face, parents are reaching out for help. It is a growing epidemic of seeking outside programs and schools, with this, a parent needs to be educated on how to find the best school for their individual child.
With all the attention I am getting, it can be overwhelming. I never dreamed my little organization would become so popular. Like with all success stories, there are always critics. Whether it is jealously that drives them or a simple dislike for me, I respect their opinions - however until you walk my shoes, you will never understand what I have been through.
My book - "Wit's End!" which will be released in 2008 will not only chronicle my story and other real life family situations, it will offer resources, relief and most of all - hope!
Whatever the reason a parent, relative, therapist or other professionals call us, we have always been supportive and tried our best to give them resources.
Over the years we have had less than a handful of complaints - which is a very good ratio in consideration that we are working with usually desperate situations and families in crisis. We have received and assisted literally over 10,000 families and are very proud to say we have many letters of gratitude. It is also an honor to be a long standing Member of the Better Business Bureau.
I have been interviewed by many reporters and appeared on TV and Radio - in today's society of teens and the peer pressure they face, parents are reaching out for help. It is a growing epidemic of seeking outside programs and schools, with this, a parent needs to be educated on how to find the best school for their individual child.
With all the attention I am getting, it can be overwhelming. I never dreamed my little organization would become so popular. Like with all success stories, there are always critics. Whether it is jealously that drives them or a simple dislike for me, I respect their opinions - however until you walk my shoes, you will never understand what I have been through.
My book - "Wit's End!" which will be released in 2008 will not only chronicle my story and other real life family situations, it will offer resources, relief and most of all - hope!
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