Saturday, July 25, 2009

Sue Scheff: Parenting 18 Year Olds

With my organization, Parents’ Universal Resource Experts, we hear from parents on a daily basis. I can’t count the number of times parents call us when their teenager has become or nearing the legal age to be considered an adult (18 years old) and realize that all their hoping and praying that the negative behavior would change, is only escalating. Don’t be a parent in denial – be a responsible parent and help to get your teenager on a positive track for their future. Don’t wait until you are at your Wit’s End!

“My 18 year old is out of control and I am at my wits end! What can I do?” – Anonymous Parent.

18 – 19 year old teens can be the most difficult to address simply because they are considered adults and cannot be forced to get help. As parents, we have limited to no control. Practicing “Tough Love” is easier said than done, many parents cannot let their child reach rock bottom – as parent’s, we see our child suffering – whether it is needing groceries or a roof over their head and it is hard to shut the door on them.
I think this is one of the most important reasons that if you are a parent of a 16-17 year old that is out of control, struggling, defiant, using drugs and alcohol, or other negative behavior – I believe it is time to look for intervention NOW. I am not saying it needs to be a residential treatment center or a program out of the home, but at least start with local resources such as therapists that specialize with adolescents and preferable offer support groups.

It is unfortunate that in most cases the local therapy is very limited how it can help your teen. The one hour once a week or even twice, is usually not enough to make permanent changes. Furthermore getting your defiant teen to attend sessions can sometimes cause more friction and frustrations than is already happening.

This is the time to consider outside help such as a Therapeutic Boarding School or Residential Treatment Center. However these parents with the 18-19 year olds have usually missed their opportunity. They were hoping and praying that at 16 – 17 things would change, but unfortunately, if not address, the negative behavior usually escalates.

In the past 9+ years I have heard from thousands of parents – and most are hoping to get their child through High School and will be satisfied with a GED. It is truly a sad society of today’s teens when many believe they can simply drop out of school. Starting as early as 14 years old, many teens are thinking this way and we need to be sure they know the consequences of not getting an education. Education in today’s world should be our children’s priority however with today’s peer pressure and entitlement issues, it seems to have drifted from education to defiance – being happy just having fun and not being responsible.

I think there are many parents that debate whether they should take that desperate measure of sending a child to a program and having them escorted there – but in the long run – you need to look at these parents that have 18-19 year olds that don’t have that opportunity. While you have this option, and it is a major decision that needs to be handled with the utmost reality of what will happen if things don’t change.

The closer they are to 18 – the more serious issues can become legally. If a 17+ year old gets in trouble with the law, in many states they will be tried as an adult. This can be scary since most of these kids are good kids making very bad choices and don’t deserve to get caught up the system. As a parent I believe it is our responsible not to be selfish and be open to sending the outside of the home. It is important not to view this as a failure as a parent, but as a responsible parent that is willing to sacrifice your personal feelings to get your child the help they need.

At 18, it is unfortunate, these kids are considered adults – and as parents we basically lose control to get them the help they need. In many cases, if teen/adult know they have no other alternatives and this is the only option the parents will support, they will attend.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sue Scheff: ADHD - Kids Awareness Series


Parent networking is a great way to expand resources, tips, advice, and more! Today I was introduced to a new website – Kids Awareness Series. Kara Tamanini has worked in the mental health field for 15 years and specializes in ADHD. Her first book – Understanding ADHD is available now through Amazon and visiting her website.


One of her recent articles is how parents deal with ODD – Oppositional Defiance Disorder.
How Parents can deal with an ODD child


Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder exhibit an ongoing pattern of resistant, hostile, and uncooperative behaviors. These behaviors are often a challenge for parents and make the child’s behavior very difficult to deal with. Parents need support and undersanding and there are a number of things parents can do to help themselves and their child with ODD. First of all, build on the positive behaviors that you see in your child.


No child is bad every single second of every day. Point out good behaviors and praise them and reinforce the behaviors that are appropriate. Pick your battles! I can not stress this enough. If you argue every single; solitary point, you as the parent will be absolutely exhausted. Yes, I know it is difficult to let some things go as a parent, but you can not address every single thing. Avoid getting into a power struggle. Remember, ODD kids love to argue!


Prioritize the things that you want your child to do. Set up limits/boundaries for your child and stick to them. Bad behavior is only reinforced by you as the parent when consequences for behavior are not consistent. Do not change the consequences or become lax on them, just because you are tired of fighting the fight. Stick to your guns here. You as the parent should manage your own stress level and try to relax. Have interests of your own and try to spend time away. Have a support system in place. Nobody should feel they are alone with no one to rely on.


Take a time out for yourself if you see that you are about to lose your cool. Walk away until you can calm down. Staying in the situation where you are arguing with your child will only exacerbate the situation. Children with ODD often respond to parenting techniques if used consistently and in a positive manner. A behavioral contract is often needed with ODD children, but more on this in my next post.


Learn more about Kara at http://kidsawarenessseries.com/ and follow her at Twitter @KidTherapist

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teens and Video Game Addiction


As summer approaches, I am sure many parents can benefit from learning more about what our kids are playing online or with their handheld digital games. Check out this website with advice and resources to help you naviagate your child and their attraction to video games.



Video game addiction? Yes, it could be common problem in America youth. According to a latest study published in Psychological Science May 2009, a top-tier peer-reviewed scientific publication in psychology, about 8.5 percent of youth between 8 to 18 years old show symptoms of video game addiction.


As one of the most representative scientific study on video game addiction, this publication has been getting a lot of medium attention. As a result, it has been raising concerns from parents. Unsurprisingly, it also raised some debates, from game players and video game makers.
The goal of this website is to provide unbiased information about video game addiction and influence of video game to the daily life of ours and our next generation in both positive and negative ways.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Parents Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.)



Parent's Universal Resource Experts, Inc. (P.U.R.E.™) is an organization that was founded in 2001 by Sue Scheff. For the past several years Parent's Universal Resource's has assisted families with valuable information and resources for their children and teens that are at risk. Teens that are struggling with today's peer pressure, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and simply good kids starting to make bad choices. We have many very satisfied families that have used our services. Please take a moment to read some of our testimonials.

Whether you are seeking Boarding Schools, Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, Wilderness Programs, Christian Schools, Summer Programs, Military Schools and more, Parent's Universal Resource's can offer you options to explore to help educate you in a very important decision for your child and family. We invite you to fill out a Free Consultation Form for more information.

Parent's Universal Resource Expert's™ are parents helping parents. As a parent that experienced and survived a difficult teen, we believe that desperate parents are at high risk of making rash and detrimental decisions in choosing the best placement for their child. Please take a moment to read my story - "A Parent's True Story" - which is one the reasons this organization was created.

As a member of the Better Business Bureau for many years we are an organization that prides ourselves in helping others and bringing families back together.

There are many Doctors, Attorney's, Therapists, Police Departments, Schools, Guidance Counselors, and other professionals that refer Parent's Universal Resource's to families. In many cases, after a family has used our service, they recommend us to their friends and relatives. We have built our reputation on trust and putting families first. At Parent's Universal Resource's we believe in bringing families back together.

In searching for schools and programs we look for the following:

Helping Teens - not Harming Them
Building them up - not Breaking them down
Positive and Nurturing Environments - not Punitive
Family Involvement in Programs - not Isolation from the teen
Protect Children - not Punish them

Monday, May 4, 2009

Sue Scheff: Parenting Websites


A few months ago I was introduced to this fantastic website for parents of teens and tweens. I recently visited there again, and was again, amazed at the up-to-date articles including deciding on your teen’s allowance, the high costs of having your teen involved in sports, and so much more. I noticed today a educational article on the inside scoop of anonymous tip lines for cyberbullying. Read more and remember, visit this website - it is not only informational, it is bright and cheery!





I’ve been working with a local group to educate and develop policy around the issue of cyber-bullying. If you’ve been a reader you’ll know that a friend of mine’s child was a victim of cyber-bullying recently. I discovered some products (this is but one) that I am going to recommend the schools take into consideration. It is computer program that provides an anonymous communication link between the students and the administration. I think we all know that kids are the best resource for knowing what’s going on inside our schools.


Here is a description of the program from their website (Disclaimer: I have not received any product information or free product from this company - I found it via research):


” Experts say in four out of five school shootings, the attackers boasted about their plans to other students beforehand. So how can school officials and law enforcement bridge the communication chasm between students and faculty? Is investing in security cameras and infrastructure improvements the right approach? AnComm believes that if we are to reduce the likelihood of violence in schools, we must put communication at the core of our school safety plan.

Administrators need to give students a way to reach out to counselors and faculty without fear of retribution or embarrassment to seek help or notify those who can help that there are problems inside your school that require attention. ‘Talk About It®’ provides an affordable, easy-to-implement option to immediately breaking the code of silence and getting students to ‘Talk About It®.’

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Sue Scheff: Summer Camps and Programs



Can you even believe that summer is just about here? May 1st is only days away - so are you still looking for a summer camp or program for your teen or tween?



Summer camps can be a great self esteem building opportunity for many kids. If you are still considering summer programs for your child - here are some ideas for your consideration.



Camp Finders® is a free service which matches children ages 6-18 with appropriate overnight summer camps and teen programs.

Since 1994, Camp Finders® has personally visited approximately 175 sleepaway camps and various teen programs. During this time period, Camp Finders™ has been placing children in overnight camps and in the following teen programs: teen tours; wilderness camps & outdoor adventure; college enrichment; community service; sailing, SCUBA, & marine biology programs; foreign language programs and more… Visit www.campfinders.com.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teen Summer Jobs

Here are 10 tips about where to look and how to act on job interviews

Source: Parenting Today

By Laura T. Coffey

Even in the best of times, teenagers face plenty of hurdles when they look for summer jobs. Would-be employers often worry that they’ll be undependable, late and generally flaky — and teens must convince prospective bosses that they’re actually reliable and responsible.
This summer could be even tougher for teens, though, because competition for jobs is expected to be so fierce. In many cases, teenagers will be going head to head against adults who have years of work experience behind them. And they’ll be doing so in a job market that has fewer positions available.

A recent survey by SnagAJob.com, an employment Web site that connects people with hourly jobs, found that nearly half of hourly hiring managers won’t be recruiting summer employees this year. Even more ominous, 73 percent of hiring managers anticipate receiving more applications this summer than they did last summer from job-seekers of all ages.

Does this mean that teens should abandon all hope of finding gainful employment this summer? Not at all! The following tips can help.

1. Start looking now. Shawn Boyer, chief executive officer of SnagAJob.com, said employers are already thinking about their upcoming summer staffing issues, even though we’re only in the month of April. One way to beat out at least some of the competition is to start your job search early rather than waiting for the school year to end. “Consider telling them, ‘I can work 10 hours a week now, and then I can ramp up my hours after school gets out,’ ” Boyer said.
2. Get the word out about your job search. Begin actively telling people that you’re looking for a job. Think about all the adults in your life: your teachers, guidance counselors and coaches, your family doctor and veterinarian, your parents’ friends, your friends’ parents, and so on. This approach could turn you on to job prospects.

3. Plan for a repeat performance. The survey of more than 1,000 hiring managers revealed that 65 percent of their summer staffs will consist of returning workers. If you had a job last summer and you didn’t absolutely hate it, consider reapplying again this year. Your past employer will be interested in you because you’re already trained.

4. Be professional. Make sure that everything you include in your job application is spelled correctly and is free of grammatical errors. Don’t use all lowercase or all uppercase letters, Boyer advised. Be sure the e-mail address you put down isn’t silly or distracting. The same holds true for the voice-mail prompt on your cell phone or home phone.

5. Do mock interviews in advance. A job interview can be a lot more stressful than you might think. To work out the jitters ahead of time, do a few practice interviews with someone other than a friend or parent, Boyer recommended. “Practice with a guidance counselor, a teacher or a friend’s parent that you’re not that comfortable with so it will be more realistic,” Boyer said.

6. Show some energy. Employers who bring teenagers on board say they appreciate their enthusiasm and eagerness to do whatever it takes to get a job done. Display those traits on your job interview — and on the job, as well.

7. Get appropriately gussied. Dress nicely for your job interview, as if you were about to attend a religious service. Do this even if the dress code for employees is casual. Absolutely remember to send a handwritten thank you note after your interview — a step many adults routinely forget to take.

8. Play up your strengths. Many teens show a tendency to be hard on themselves and minimize their accomplishments. Remember that a job interview is not the place to beat yourself up. Instead, emphasize flattering details about yourself, such as being an honor-roll student, juggling extracurricular activities and volunteering in the community. “List out in particular the leadership positions that you’ve held,” Boyer said. “That helps to dispel the idea that teens aren’t responsible.”

9. Know where to look. As bleak as the job market is right now, Boyer said these places that are still open to hiring teens: fast-food restaurants; movie theaters; merchandising companies that stock shelves for retailers — American Greetings is looking for this sort of help, he noted — and health-care facilities. “There are a wide range of positions in the health-care sector that don’t require you to have a certain level of credentials,” Boyer said. “There’s valet-parking people’s cars, working in a hospital gift shop, working in a cafeteria, being a receptionist.”

10. Consider working at a bank. If you’re at least 18, you also may be able to land a job as a bank teller. Banks often need help over the summer months when many of their employees go on vacation, Boyer said — and he added that a bank job can look good on your resume.

Sources and resources:

SnagAJob.com
Youth2Work.gov, the U.S. Labor Department’s Web site for teens
Occupational Safety and Health Administration

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Sue Scheff: Inhalant Use



About a year ago, a mother emailed me about her son’s tragic death - it wasn’t your typical drug overdose, it was normal household items that teens/kids are now using as a high. Inhalant Abuse is not discussed enough, and needs to be. These items are much easier for teens to find and a lot less expensive. A cheap high? It is awful to even have to think like this, but parents needs to be aware and take pre-cautions. As always, communication with our teens is number #1 - and I recommend you visit http://www.inhalant.org/ for more valuable information about this potentially deadly habit.







“They didn’t want to believe that I had a problem … their little girl, you know?”
– Kelli Crockett, 18 years old



Five years ago, 18-year-old Kelli Crockett was already drinking and smoking pot, but she wanted a different “high.”



“And I remember in middle school, actually a drug awareness program hearing about the inhalants, like the household products, you know, and I was like, ‘I know we’ve got something around the house,’ and I really wanted to get messed up,” Kelli says.



Air freshener, glue, paint thinner, furniture polish, hair spray: The government estimates over 17 percent of adolescents have tried inhalants at least once.



Certified Addiction Counselor Ashley Kilpatrick explains: “It’s accessible, I mean, that’s what the problem with inhalants is that they’re just so easy, they’re under the kitchen sink.”
Inhalants cut off oxygen to the brain, and that makes them extremely dangerous. Huffing just once can kill.



“It just feels toxic … you’re high for five minutes and then you feel sick,” Kilpatrick says.
Kelli adds, “I hated the way it made me feel, but … when I didn’t have anything else to use or drink or smoke, I did it cause it was around.”



Experts say a child who’s high on inhalants may seem drunk or disoriented. Parents should also look for signs around the house, like aerosol cans that are out of pressure or punctured on the bottom. There’s also a hangover effect.



“Headaches afterwards, dehydration, you know, bad moods, all that can last up to 24 hours after a use,” Kilpatrick says.



But experts say parents won’t see the signs if they’re in denial.
Kelli says it took an overdose that nearly killed her for her parents to notice. “They didn’t want to believe that I had a problem … their little girl, you know?” she says.

Tips for Parents



Nail polish remover, paint thinner, canned whipping cream, marking pens: Each of these common household items – and literally hundreds more – can be abused by inhaling. Inhalants are volatile substances that produce chemical vapors that induce a psychoactive, or mind-altering, effect when inhaled. Kids sniff, or “huff,” to get high.



According to the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug information (NCADI), sniffing can cause sickness and death. Victims may become nauseated, forgetful and unable to see things clearly. They may lose control of their bodies, including the use of arms and legs. The effects can last 15 to 45 minutes after inhaling. In addition, sniffing can severely damage the brain, heart, liver and kidneys. Even worse, victims can die suddenly – without any warning. It’s called “Sudden Sniffing Death,” which can occur during or right after sniffing. Even first-time abusers have been known to die from breathing inhalants.



More than 1,000 products are potential inhalants that can kill, including:



Cleaning agents
Computer agents
Correction fluid
Deodorizers
Freon
Gases (whippets, butane, propane)
Gasoline
Glue
Hair spray
Lighter fluid
Markers
Paint products
How can you tell if your child may be abusing inhalants? The NCADI lists the following symptoms to look for in your child:
Unusual breath odor or chemical odor on clothing
Slurred or disoriented speech
Drunk, dazed or dizzy appearance
Signs of paint or other products where they wouldn’t normally be, such as on the face or fingers
Red or runny eyes or nose.
Spots and/or sores around the mouth
Nausea and/or loss of appetite
Appears anxious, excitable, irritable or restlessness (chronic inhalers)
Inhalant abusers also may show the following behaviors:
Sits with a pen or marker near nose
Constantly smells clothing sleeves
Shows paint or stain marks on the face, fingers or clothing



Hides rags, clothes or empty containers of the potentially abused products in closets and other places



If you suspect your child or someone you know is an inhalant abuser, you should consider seeking professional help. Contact a local drug rehabilitation center or other service available in your community.

References
National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information
National Institute on Drug Abuse

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teen Acne and the Psychological Effects


By Johana Curtis (Licensed Skin Care Professional)


Teenage Acne Psychological Effects Can Be Severe

As a group that deals with troubled teens on a daily basis, we can see how particular issues unique to teenagers can exacerbate the already difficult time some kids have. Teenage acne psychological effects can be severe enough to cause depression and lower self esteem. Add this to all the other issues commonly found with difficult teens and the result can be problematic. However, there is a way to alleviate the issues surrounding acne in teenagers. Removing this issue can do wonders with a teenager’s self esteem and make it easier to relate to them, especially if they have other psychological issues.

In order to deal with the problem it is important to have some information on teenage acne. The first thing you should know about it is how it occurs. Once there is an understanding of what causes acne then it is easier to find ways to cure it. Teenage acne tips can help ensure the problem is lessened to an extent that it no longer affects the child adversely. Having healthy, clear skin can boost a teenager’s self confidence. Not being self conscious about their appearance will make a teen easier to help when they have problems resulting from other factors in their life.

So, why does acne occur in the first place? Many theories have been bandied about throughout the ages. Most of them, however, are myths and are actually not directly responsible for causing teenage acne. Clothing that is worn, working out excessively and certain types of food are not the root cause of acne. All of those issues may at times make acne worse than it normally would be but it is not the cause of the problem. The cause is simply a hormonal imbalance. Teenagers go through significant hormonal changes when they hit puberty as it is. An imbalance will bring about acne that can sometimes be severe enough to affect a teen’s appearance and self esteem.

If hormonal changes are the cause of acne, is there anything that can be done about it? Yes, there is. There are two basic ways acne should be treated in order to ensure a long term, positive effect. First, the skin should be treated. This is typically done via over the counter topical products. Teenagers should get into the habit of taking care of their skin. Purchasing scrubs, cleansers and lotions will suffice to begin a proper skin care regimen that should be used daily.

The purpose of the topical treatments is twofold. First, the teenager gets into a healthy habit of maintaining proper skin care that will last throughout their life. Also, acne that already exists will be cured more quickly and the skin will have a fresh, clean appearance in no time at all. The teenager will be pleased with the results and will have a better outlook about their appearance.

But, topical treatments are not the sole solution that should be explored. There should also be treatment for the root cause of acne, the hormones. In order to treat the hormonal imbalance it is necessary to use supplements. This will naturally restore the hormones to the proper balance, alleviating the acne problem and will prevent it from returning. There are many natural supplements available from health food stores and vitamin shops.

However, there are a few products on the market designed specifically to resolve the problem of teenage acne and include both topical creams and supplements. These products treat the problem from the inside out and are convenient to use because everything is sold in one package. These all inclusive products can be found in health food stores, in the skin care aisles of stores and are also available online. Most supplements are taken once or twice per day and the skin cleansers and creams are also used once or twice per day. This is convenient for the teen to use and makes them less prone to forget to use it.

A hormonal imbalance is the primary cause of teenage acne. Other factors may exacerbate the issue but that is where the topical cleansers come into play. The dietary supplements will treat the root cause of the acne, the hormonal imbalance. With proper treatment, a teenager can feel more confident about facing the other difficulties that occur with teens. Unfortunately, the teenage years can be difficult and sometimes more severe problems can occur.

A teenager who suffers from acne can exhibit signs of depression and withdraw from peers and adults alike. Curing acne can not remove all the difficulties teenagers must face on a daily basis but it can eliminate one of the issues that cause severe emotional problems and self esteem issues. If you understand how acne occurs and how to treat it, curing acne in a teen can be easier than it may seem.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teen Depression


As I saw on the news last night, experts are saying that parents with children between the ages of 12-18 should have them screened for depression. It is not about promoting medication, it is about helping to understand if there are areas in their lives that can be causing stress and anxiety that can leave to making negative choices such has experimenting with substance abuse, hanging with a less than desirable peer group, feelings of low self worth, etc. Like adults, children can be prone to depression and stress and not mature enough to understand these feelings. With this, acting out in a negative way can follow. Take time to learn more.


Source: USA Today


Experts: Doctors should screen teens for depression.


If you have teens or tweens, government-appointed experts have a message: U.S. adolescents should be routinely screened for major depression by their primary care doctors. The benefits of screening kids 12 to 18 years old outweigh any risks if doctors can assure an accurate diagnosis, treatment and follow-up care, says the independent U.S. Preventive Services Task Force.It’s a change from the group’s 2002 report concluding there wasn’t enough evidence to support or oppose screening for teens. The task force, though, says there’s still insufficient proof about the benefits and harms of screening children 7 to 11 years old.


Depression strikes about 1 out of 20 teens, and it’s been linked to lower grades, more physical illness and drug use, as well as early pregnancy.


Questionnaires can accurately identify teens prone to depression, plus there’s new evidence that therapy and/or some antidepressants can benefit them, the expert panel says in a report in today’s Pediatrics . But careful monitoring is vital since there’s “convincing evidence” that antidepressants can increase suicidal behavior in teens, the report says.


Accompanying the task force advisory in Pediatrics is a research review saying there have been few studies on the accuracy of depression screening tests, but the tests “have performed fairly well” among adolescents. Treatment can knock down symptoms of depression, say the reviewers from Kaiser Permanente and the Oregon Evidence-Based Practice Center in Portland, Ore.


In a “show me the money” volley back, pediatricians also weigh in on the topic in today’s issue of their journal. Insurance plans and managed care companies that stiff or under-pay pediatricians for mental health services throw up barriers to mental health care in doctors’ offices, says the American Academy of Pediatrics. Kids’ doctors should be compensated for screenings, as well as consults with mental health specialists and parents, AAP recommends.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Sue Scheff: 3 Smart ADHD Stategies Studies




Tips to help ADHD students fine-tune their study strategies for specific test formats: multiple choice, essay, and math/science tests.


Many parents of students with attention deficit disorder (ADHD) want to pull out their hair. And most share the same school-related frustration. “She knew the material at home, but she flunked the test.”


What students with ADHD know — or think we know — is not always on the test. The cardinal rule for studying smarter is: “It’s not what you know, it’s what your teacher wants you to know.”


Because we often wait until the last minute to study, we forget this rule. We study hard — but we study the wrong material. Or, in a rush, we don’t dig deep enough into the material, even though that’s what the teacher expects us to do. I’ve been there and done that.


A week before the test, make a rough outline or study guide. Show it to your teacher and ask her if you’re studying the right material, if you’ve missed anything, and where to focus your efforts. After you’ve targeted the relevant material, consider the test format: Different kinds of tests require different study strategies.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Sue Scheff: Stopping Online Violence


Violence against children is completely preventable!

Get Angry And SAVE A Child.

Reporting Online Crime Against Children


Keeping kids safe from harm and violence is up to everyone of us!

Be Informed ... Be Involved ...Make a Difference in a Child's Life

Violence against children only ends when a child comes forward or a concerned person recognizes the warning signs and reports the abuse.

Sometimes, people may fear getting personally involved or they may be in denial of a child they know who is being hurt. Child violence is a problem on the national and local levels that requires action in the form of caring individuals in each community.

And now the Internet has become a real danger to kids of all ages.

A person’s actions, or lack of action, not only affects the abused child, but everyone in our country.

Click Here To Report Non-Online Violence Against Children

Reporting Internet Crime

http://www.cybertipline.com

The Cybertipline handles leads on a variety of Internet criminal activity and is forwarded to law enforcement. Learn what you can do if you suspect illegal or dangerous activity online.

You can file reports at http://www.cybertipline.com or call your local police force or law enforcement agency, i f you know a child who is in danger or at risk of an online crime.

Definition of Online Crimes

Possession, Manufacture, and Distribution of Child Pornography
Child pornography has been defined under federal statute as a visual depiction of a minor (child younger than 18) engaged in sexually explicit conduct

Online Enticement of Children for Sexual Acts
Use of the Internet to entice, invite, or persuade a child to meet for sexual acts, or to help arrange such a meeting, is a serious offense

Prostitution of Children

Prostitution is generally defined as performing, offering, or agreeing to perform a sexual act for any money, property, token, object, article, or anything of value

Sex Tourism Involving Children

It is against the law for any United States citizen to travel abroad to engage in sexual activity with any child under the age of 18. Individuals who partake in this illegal activity are subject to prosecution in the United States even if they committed the crime on foreign soil.

Child Sexual Molestation (not in the family)
Child sexual exploitation (not in the family), also known as extra-familial child sexual abuse, includes all sexual exploitation of a child by someone other than a family member.

Unsolicited Obscene Material Sent to a Child

It is an unfortunate reality of the Internet that children will encounter obscene aterial online. Many times this material is attached as an image(s) or hyperlink(s) sent to a child in an unsolicited E-mail or “spam.”

To combat this problem NCMEC takes reports of unsolicited obscene material sent to a child. It is a violation of criminal law for any person to knowingly or attempt to send or transfer obscene material to another individual who has not attained the age of 16 years

Please report any incidents where a child may have received visual depictions of persons engaging in sexually explicit conduct that is obscene.

If you are an adult who is concerned about adult obscenity not involving children on the Internet, please make a report to www.obscenitycrimes.org.

Misleading Domain Name

It is a federal offense to use a misleading domain name on the Internet with the intent to deceive a minor into viewing material that is harmful to minors, regardless of whether the material meets the legal definition of obscenity. Please report the use of a misleading domain name that has directed a child to a web site containing harmful materials to children.

Adults who are concerned about obscenity that has not been accessed by a child on the Internet may file a report at www.obscenitycrimes.org.



REPORT ALL VIOLENCE AGAINST CHILDREN!
.
Facts You Should Know About Violence Against Children

Forms of Violence and Neglect Against Children

What Makes People Harm and Neglect Children

What You Can Do To Help

Resources To Help You

Purchase A Blue Ribbon

DONATE Love Our Children USA depends on donations from individuals like you. Your generosity and support will help us fulfill our mission of breaking the cycle of violence against children and, help to increase programs to protect children and strengthen families in every community.

It's Time To Break The Cycle of Violence Against Children ... Before It Starts!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Sue Scheff: Tools to Stop Medicine Abuse


As a parent advocate, I continually receive information from a wide range of resources. Educating parents today about what our teens and pre-teens are facing is critical to raising our children. Today, as in many generations before, there are new concerns and challenges that parents face. Whether it is social networking, peer pressure, or substance abuse - parents need to stay in touch.


Communication should be a parent number 1 priority with today’s teens and pre-teens.
The Consumer Healthcare Products Association (CHPA), founded in 1881, is a member-based association representing the leading manufacturers and distributors of nonprescription, over-the-counter (OTC) medicines and nutritional supplements. Many CHPA member products provide millions of Americans with safe, effective, and convenient therapies for the treatment and prevention of many common ailments and diseases.


Studies and common sense tell us that parents play a critical role in preventing substance abuse among teens by simply talking to them about it. CHPA’s Stop Medicine Abuse initiative empowers parents, as well as other community members, to get educated and take action in a variety of ways. Ultimately, the goal is to make sure parents talk to their kids before someone else does.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Sue Scheff: 20th Annual Teen Study from Drug Free America


Data Reveal First Major Increase in Number of Teens Reporting “Learning a Lot” About Risks of Drug Use


From Parents Teen Abuse of Prescription and Over-The-Counter Medicines Remains a Serious Concern


NEW YORK, NY – February 24, 2009 – The Partnership for a Drug-Free America today announced the findings from the 2008 Partnership Attitude Tracking Study, (PATS) which revealed the first major increase in the number of teens who reported “learning a lot” about the risks of drugs from their parents. The study shows that 37 percent of teens reported learning a lot about the risks of drugs from their parents, a significant 16 percent increase from the previous year and the first major increase since the inception of the study. Research consistently shows that teens who learn a lot about the risks of drugs at home are up to 50 percent less likely to use, yet many parents have difficulty talking with their kids about drugs and alcohol.



Friday, February 20, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teen Communication with Parents


I hear all the time how parents can’t talk to their teens, or should we say, can’t get our teens to listen. In many situations it is how we as parents approach our teens. It seems like a game, but the end result is worth it. Opening up the lines of communication can be critical in today’s teen generation. Here is a great tip list from Shoulder to Shoulder.



When talking with teens, keep the following in mind:


IT’S ALL ABOUT THE APPROACH.


Don’t blast teens with “20 questions” when they first walk in the door. Catch them when they are genuinely ready to talk. However, you may have to create that moment by going out for ice cream, taking a bike ride or working on a project together.


If you’re upset with your teen, you can’t solve a problem effectively. Give yourself some time to cool down before addressing the issue.


Keep the situation in perspective. It’s normal for teens to push the boundaries. Let them experience how to question what they see, and to develop skills in reasoning with you. That way, they will learn to think for themselves to deal with peer pressure and other teen issues.


ARE YOU READY TO TALK?


Avoid telling teens “this is how it’s going to be.” Be respectful by asking for their perspective of the situation - and really listen to them. Try to find a solution together.
Pose your questions as open-ended questions instead of yes-no questions.


Don’t accept “I don’t know” as a response. Instead try, “Tell me how you see it.”


Tell a joke or humorous story to relieve a tense situation, but don’t make fun of teens. Their self-esteem can be fragile.


Don’t solve problems for them. Our teens will not be living with us forever. To let them grow, we should look for opportunities for them to make their own decisions.


Get right to the point and be clear about your concerns. Explain why you feel the way you do, and then describe what you want or need in the future. Be ready to listen to what your teen needs, too.


If you already know the answer, don’t ask the question. For example, if you clearly disapprove of your teen’s outfit, don’t ask, “What are you wearing?!” Instead, you might try, “I’m concerned about that outfit. It’s revealing and I don’t want others to get the wrong idea about you. Please choose something else.”


Teens know they can wear down most adults with sheer repetition and persistence. When a discussion has reached the “wheel spinning” point, end it. To continue is to ask for trouble, as frustration may cause things to be said that we’ll regret.


Listen up. If teens see us as adults that will not listen to them, they will stop talking to us. Force yourself to listen. If necessary, count to 100 before responding and avoid giving unwanted advice or lecturing.
Tell them often how much you love them.


PRINTABLE VERSION FOR DOWNLOAD


You’ll need Adobe Acrobat Reader to view the following PDF version of this section. If you don’t already have the program, you can download it for free here.
Talking with teens.pdf

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Sue Scheff - Power Moms Unite - Parenting ADHD


I love stumbling over great new parenting websites - and what a name - Power Moms Unite - Founder, Candace McLane offer a wide variety of articles, thoughts, tips, parenting resources and more on ADHD. As a mother of an ADHD son, I really enjoy this site. Check her Blog out too - great up to date info!



Power Moms are moms working to successfully balance the needs of child, family, and self. Some work outside the home, balancing a career with the needs of their child, family and personal self. Other moms are working from home, managing families while managing a small home-based business or managing large families and a homeschool. There are a wide range of us- all power moms- looking to do our best at our many hats as mom- be that nuturer, coach, educator, cheerleader, psychologist, disciplinarian, party arranger, role-model, etc. The roles are vast and numerous, the balance often difficult to strike. This site hopes to empower these moms by providing timely, valuable and informative resources for celebrating family life and successfully managing ADHD.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Schefff - Pre-Teens and Peer Pressure


Source: About.com


When your preteen first starts middle school they may be facing real peer pressure for the first time. Experimenting with smoking, drugs and skipping school does start at this age. This is because these recently elementary school graduates want to fit in with the older crowd. Here are some things you can do to help your preteen be prepare for when they are asked to do something that they normally wouldn't do.


Be the first to say something. If you haven't talked to your preteen about drugs, smoking or anything else they could be facing because they haven't had to face that problem yet, talk to them now! Don't avoid it until it becomes a problem or you start to see "signs". Be proactive with your preteen.


Role play. Let your preteen be the one who offers you a cigarette. This will be an eye opening experience. Say no and keep saying no. When you preteen says, "I couldn't say that", ask them what they could say or do. Then role play with your preteen saying no. Practice until your preteen feels comfortable enough to do it on his own with his friends. Learn how to role play here.


Being rude is sometimes okay. Let your teenager know it is okay to avoid people who are trying to get him to do something he does not want to do, even if it is an old friend.Let them make you the scape-goat. Tell your preteen that there is nothing wrong with using you as an excuse. Saying, "My mom would be so mad!" to a friend who is trying to get them to smoke is a perfectly good enough excuse to get out of the situation.


Be available. Be ready and available should they need to come to you with questions or thoughts on a situation. Even if your teen didn't make the right choices, you can help them come up with a better solution the next time the situation arises.
Learn more here.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens Today


O-kay, I am in Florida and have a soft spot for oranges and tangerines, but when I discovered a new Parenting Website that promotes today’s teen issues and parents concerns, I had to share it with you. Tangerine Times, created by Myrna Lantzsch, offers a variety of Parenting Tips, Articles, Blogs and more. Her motto: The Sweet and Sour Life with Teens.


Recently Myrna wrote about Teens and Texting while Driving - and this is huge concern for many of us. We are hearing more and more how car accidents due to cell phone use are increasing, and we need to educate our teens of the dangers of using their phones while driving.
Here is her follow up article:


In an effort to provide additional information and updates on the subject of “Texting While Driving” post - I discovered this story on Salon.com.


In the article, they discuss other technologies to aide with the “disabling” of a cell phone for texting purposes. Both of the companies discussed, (WQN, Inc. and Aegis Mobility) both utilize the car’s Global Positioning System to disable the cell phone.


I still think the best approach is to turn off texting at certain times (especially when the teenager is just beginning to drive) and/or have them leave the phone at home. I know this is unheard of anymore, no one thinks they can do without a cell phone around. But, I’m beginning to think that the temptation to text or use the phone can be very tempting. And, it is even more of a distraction than loud music or maybe, even, another teen in the car.


I’m still researching this subject and will continue to supply updates. As usual, I am particularly interested in hearing from you readers…what do you think? What have you tried?

Friday, January 16, 2009

Wit's End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out of Control Teen by Sue Scheff

Learn more about Wit's End at www.witsendbook.com and author Sue Scheff at www.suescheff.com -the response has been overwhelming! If you are struggling with your teen today - pick up Wit's End and learn more!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sue Scheff: Teenage Gangs

Teen Gangs and Teen Cults

Gangs prey on the weak child that yearns to fit in with a false illusion they are accepted into the “cool crowd”. With most Gangs as with Teen Cults, they can convince your child that joining “their Gang or Cult” will make them a “well-liked and popular” teen as well as one that others may fear. This gives the teen a false sense of superiority. Remember, many of today’s teens that are acting out negatively are suffering with extremely low self confidence. This feeling of power that they believe a gang or cult has can boost their esteem; however they are blinded to the fact that is dangerous. This is how desperate some teens are to fit in.

In reality, it is a downward spiral that can result in damage both emotionally and psychically. We have found Teen Gangs and Teen Cults are sometimes hard to detect. They disguise themselves to impress the most intelligent of parents. We have witnessed Gang members who will present themselves as the “good kid from the good family” and you would not suspect their true colors.
If you suspect your child is involved in any Gang Activities or any Cults, please seek local therapy* and encourage your child to communicate. This is when the lines of communication need to be wide open. Sometimes this is so hard, and that is when an objective person is always beneficial. Teen Gangs and Teen Cults are to be taken very seriously. A child that is involved in a gang can affect the entire family and their safety. Take this very seriously if you suspect your child is participating in gang activity or cult association.

Learn more click here.

Need help - visit www.helpyourteens.com

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Sue Scheff 2009 Parenting Teens in Cyberspace for the Future


As a parent advocate, I encourage parents to learn more about online safety. A great place to start is Reputation Defender! Remember, your child may be a "child" today, but soon they will be applying to college and filling out employment applications. Will their online profile be acceptable?
Take a moment to learn more!


MyChild by ReputationDefender scours the Internet for all references to your child or teen - by name, photography, screen name, or social network profiles - and packages it to you in an easy-to-understand report. Worried about bullies? Concerned that your teens' friends and peers are posting inappropriate materials online? MyChild searches every corner of the Internet for traces of your kids. If you want to help your teen manage their online reputation, but have felt powerless to do so, ReputationDefender is your answer!