Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) ADHD Teens and Puberty


By ADDitude Magazine

What parents of ADHD boys should watch for as their sons pass through adolescence.


Until he was 10 or 11, Robert was cheerful and lively, if sometimes distractible and hyper. Then came 12 and 13. “He alternates between couch potato and monster,” says his mother, Anne. “What happened to my sweet little boy?”

What happened were puberty (physical changes) and adolescence (psychological and social changes), which occur when children begin maturing into adults. Some kids begin to “act” like adolescents before puberty; others may not accept the role of adolescent until long after puberty. Whenever they happen, you’re in for a bumpy ride.

Fortunately, boys with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) don’t seem to have more difficulty coping with puberty than others. However, their particular problems and stresses may differ somewhat. Here are some issues to consider.

Refusing medicine
“Raging hormones” can cause intense physical and psychological changes. Teens often find body changes distressing and desperately want to fit in. That’s why many kids who cooperatively took medication in elementary school begin to protest and rebel in their teens; they don’t want to be singled out by going to the school office or health room.

Try to understand and help. If you can find an appropriate medication in a long-acting formulation, your child won’t have to take medicine in school. You can even allow a short trial off medication which may help your teen understand the need to continue taking it. Before discontinuing medication, consult with your family doctor or a mental health professional.

Peer pressure
All children need to feel accepted by their peer group. If the years of having ADHD (and possibly a learning disability) have resulted in poor social skills and limited success with friends, early adolescence may be painful.

The danger for some kids is that they may seek out any peer group that accepts them. Socially rejected ADHD boys frequently latch on to other “misfits” who do not do well in school or sports. The combination of a misfit peer group, the need to be accepted, and low self-esteem places ADHD teens at great risk of alcohol and drug use. Get educated and if you suspect these problems, get help.

Lack of supervision
Experimentation with alcohol, drugs, and sex doesn’t take place on weekend nights. The riskiest hours are between 3 and 6 P.M. on school days. Kids are often unsupervised because both parents work. They frequently visit friends’ houses with no adult present.

Be proactive. If you can’t supervise your teens after school, make sure they’re involved in sports, arts, community service or other activities that are supervised by adults. Keep tabs on where they are and what they’re doing at all times.

Comorbid disorders
People with ADHD are at increased risk of comorbid disorders (two or more conditions that occur at the same time). Depression and anxiety disorders often first show up between the ages of 8 and 12, and again in early adolescence. Watch your child for symptoms, and seek help if you think there’s a problem.

Also watch for signs of Conduct Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder, which are marked by antisocial, hostile, and unusually oppositional behavior. These disorders frequently place impulsive ADHD boys in dangerous, even criminal situations. Intervention is imperative.

Medication changes
Most boys on medication for ADHD do not need to change medication as they enter puberty. Even significant weight increases may not warrant an increased dose. If the dose used earlier in life still works, don’t change it.

The good news is that about half of ADHD kids improve significantly after puberty. Many no longer need medication. The rest will probably need medication through adolescence and possibly into adulthood.

On balance, most ADHD boys pass through adolescence with no more difficulty than others. Becoming a couch potato is not a disorder. However, seek professional advise if your son seems unusually sad, withdrawn, angry, or anxious. Don’t wait for a problem to escalate into a crisis. Even if your concerns are unfounded, it’s better to discuss them with a mental health professional than to wish you had acted sooner.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) The Feingold Program


The Feingold Program (also known as the Feingold Diet) is a test to determine if certain foods or food additives are triggering particular symptoms. It is basically the way people used to eat before "hyperactivity" became a household word, and before asthma and chronic ear infections became so very common. Used originally as a diet for allergies, improvement in behavior and attention was first noticed as a "side effect." It is a reasonable first step to take before (or with if already begun) drug treatment for any of the symptoms listed on the Symptoms page.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Sue Scheff (P.U.R.E.) Making Peace with Your Defiant Child: Discipline & ODD


Discipline strategies for parents of children with oppositional defiant disorder - a common partner to ADHD.

ADDitude Magazine has comprehensive articles on ADD/ADHD in regards to both children and adults.

As a parent advocate (Sue Scheff) my organization - Parents' Universal Resource Experts - is about parents helping parents and bringing you valuable stories, articles and more to help you with today's kids.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Parents Universal Resuorce Experts (Sue Scheff) Single Parents: How to Raise ADHD Children – Alone



Seven expert strategies to help single parents raise confident, successful children with ADHD.



ADDitude Magazine offers great information for parents and adults of ADD/ADHD. As a single parent with an ADHD child, this article offers a lot of insight.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Websites Promoting Cyber Safety


Connect with Kids constantly keeps parents updated on today’s kids and issues surrounding them. Today’s techy generation need even stronger parenting.


Reputation Defender MyChild is a great place for parents to start in keeping their child’s privacy “private!”

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Rebellious and Defiant Teens


Parent's Universal Resource Experts has found that children that have ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) are very confrontational and need to have life their own way. A child does not have to be diagnosed ODD to be defiant. It is a trait that some teens experience through their puberty years.


Defiant teens, disrespectful teens, angry teens and rebellious teens can affect the entire family.An effective way to work with defiant teens is through anger and stress management classes. If you have a local therapist*, ask them if they offer these classes. Most will have them along with support groups and other beneficial classes.


In today's teens we are seeing that defiant teens have taken it to a new level. Especially if your child is also ADD/ADHD, the ODD combination can literally pull a family apart.


You will find yourself wondering what you ever did to deserve the way your child is treating you. It is very sad, yet very real. Please know that many families are experiencing this feeling of destruction within their home. Many wonder "why" and unfortunately each child is different with a variety of issues they are dealing with. Once a child is placed into proper treatment, the healing process can begin.


If you feel your teen is in need of further Boarding School, Military School or Program Options, please complete our Information Request Form.


Monday, April 21, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Vandalism and Mischief



Teens and Vandalism


The US Department of Justice defines vandalism as “willful or malicious destruction, injury, disfigurement, or defacement of any public or private property.” Vandalism can encompass many different acts, including graffiti, public unrest, rioting, and other types of criminal mischief, like breaking windows or arson. Even seemingly harmless pranks like egging and toilet papering homes are considered vandalism in most states.Unfortunately, many acts of vandalism may go unnoticed in the home, because teens can easily avoid bringing any evidence back with them.


This is why it is of particular importance that parents make an effort to know where their teens are at all times. Keeping an open dialogue with your teen about his schedule and friends can help you to better keep tabs on him.


A teen that knows his parents care is more likely to avoid criminally mischievous behaviors in the first place.If you suspect your teen is engaging in vandalism, don’t be afraid to discuss your fears with your teen. While again, it is important to not be accusatory, you should leave no doubt in your teen’s mind that you believe any act of vandalism- big or small- is wrong. Often, teens think vandalism is a ‘victimless crime’; in other words, they don’t believe they’re hurting anyone by spray painting graffiti on a brick building, or tossing a few eggs at a neighbor’s car.


This kind of thinking is your perfect segue into teaching your teen just how wrong vandalism can be. When your teen defiantly tells you that “nobody got hurt,” explain to them that by spray-painting the façade of his high school, they costs the taxpayers (including you) money to have the graffiti covered and the crime investigated. Remind them that the money for these repairs has to come from somewhere, and that every dollar wasted to fix vandalism is a dollar that must now be cut from somewhere else.Maybe the school will have one less dance, or will be forced to cut out arts programs or programs for under privileged students. If your teen has been egging homes, point out the waste of food that some families cannot even afford.


Remind them that someone will have to scrape the dried egg off your neighbor’s windshield, possibly making him late for work, costing him time and money.Read more about Criminal


Mischief with Teens - Click Here.


Friday, April 18, 2008

Sue Scheff: Girls Dating Older Boys

By Connect with Kids

“Girls, definitely, tell me that they feel like they have to do the sexual requests, they have to honor the sexual requests of their boyfriends, or they will get dumped. And there are a lot of girls that are feeling pressure that way.”

– Dr. Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., licensed psychologist

Typically, parents worry when their daughters begin dating, but they really worry when their daughter goes out with an older boy. According to a recent study, parents have good reason to be concerned.

Sarah is 19 and her boyfriend is 22.

“Because I am dating an older guy … I am more open to alcohol, just because I can ask him, ‘Hey, can you go to the store and buy me something?’” says Sarah Lim, 19.

She says another risk of dating an older guy is being pressured into having sex.

“I think a lot of guys, especially in high school, will go for younger girls just because they’ll give it up, you know,” says Lim.

In fact, according to a study by the non-profit group Child Trends, one in five girls has dated a boy at least three years older than she, and 10 percent say they’ve had sex with an older boy before they turned 16.

“Girls, definitely, tell me that they feel like they have to do the sexual requests, they have to honor the sexual requests of their boyfriends, or they will get dumped. And there are a lot of girls that are feeling pressure that way,” says Dr. Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., licensed psychologist.

What’s more, according to the study, girls who date older guys are less likely to use protection, more likely to become pregnant, and twice as likely to acquire a sexually transmitted disease (STD).

“Frequently, the younger girl is naïve. Sometimes she doesn’t have the assertiveness to stand up for herself and demand that a condom be used,” says McGarrah.

“When guys are older…girls will trust them. ‘Oh, he knows what he’s talking about. He has more experience,’” says Lim.

Experts say parents need to set ground rules, such as they can only date someone one grade above or below, and only go on group dates until they’re 16. And if your daughter argues, experts say:

“Explain to them that you trust them and you know that they are a mature person, but at the same time there are different levels of maturity. And just like they are not ready to get married, they are not ready to have babies, they are also not ready to be in relationships with people significantly older than they are,” says McGarrah.

Tips for Parents

When a boyfriend or girlfriend uses verbal insults, mean language, nasty putdowns, gets physical by hitting or slapping, or forces someone into sexual activity, it's an important warning sign of verbal, emotional or physical abuse. Ask yourself, does my boyfriend or girlfriend: (Nemours Foundation)

Get angry when I don't drop everything for him or her?

Criticize the way I look or dress, and say I'll never be able to find anyone else who would date me?

Keep me from seeing friends or from talking to any other guys or girls?

Want me to quit an activity, even though I love it?

Ever raise a hand when angry, like he or she is about to hit me?

Try to force me to go further sexually than I want to?

Hopefully, you and your significant other are treating each other well. Not sure if that's the case?

Take a step back from the dizzying sensation of being swept off your feet and think about whether your relationship has these qualities:

Mutual respect. Does he or she “get” how cool you are and why? The key is that your BF or GF is into you for who you are — for your personality, great sense of humor, love of the same movies, commitment to sports or the arts, etc. Does your partner listen when you say you're not comfortable doing something and then back off right away? Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is — and would never challenge the other person's boundaries. (Nemours Foundation)

Trust. You're talking with a guy from French class and your boyfriend walks by. Does he completely lose his cool or keep walking because he knows you'd never cheat on him? It's okay to get a little jealous sometimes — jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There's no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other. (Nemours Foundation)

Support. It's not just in bad times that your partner should support you. Some people are great when your whole world is falling apart, but can't take being there when things are going right (and vice versa). In a healthy relationship, your significant other is there with a shoulder to cry on when you find out your parents are getting divorced and to celebrate with you when you get the lead in a play. (Nemours Foundation)

Good communication. You've probably heard lots of stuff about how men and women don't seem to speak the same language. We all know how many different meanings the little phrase "no, nothing's wrong" can have, depending on who's saying it! But what's important is to ask if you're not sure what he or she means, and speak honestly and openly so that the miscommunication is avoided in the first place. (Nemours Foundation)

Think about the qualities you value in a friendship and see how they match up with the ingredients of a healthy relationship. Work on developing those good qualities in yourself — they make you a lot more attractive to others. (Nemours Foundation)

References
Nemours Foundation

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) The Gap Year for HS Seniors




“It might give a student a little bit more direction. They may be refreshed after taking a year off from being in an academic situation.”

– Adam Lips, Emory University, Admissions

For many students, the frenzied, non-stop trek to college begins their first day in high school. And, after four years of study, SAT exams and AP classes, some students are exhausted. That’s why more and more universities are recommending what’s called a “gap” year between high school and college.



Graduation is just around the corner: the end of 12 years of school and then, at the end of the summer, many students will begin college. But not Annie van Beunigan.

“This is kind of the center of Paris, and the Sorbonne is right here,” says Annie, 17, pointing to a map of Paris, France.

Before heading to college, Annie is going to spend a year in France.

“It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’m pretty sick of school … I worked pretty hard in high school. I was pretty driven and I just want to take a break,” says Annie.

The U.S. Department of Education reports that half of all college students take six years or more to get a Bachelor’s degree – partly because so many begin their freshman year burned out and unfocused. Experts say a year off can help.

“It might give a student a little bit more direction. They may be refreshed after taking a year off from being in an academic situation,” says Adam Lips, Emory University, Admissions.

“My mom took a year off and went to live in France and she said that was the best year of her life. She learned so much and grew up so much and went back to college and was more focused,” says Annie.

“For a lot of people it builds character. It builds maturity and it lets them make the most of that college experience,” says Lips.

Still, delaying college should not be taken lightly.

“There needs to be a great deal of thought put into what a student is going to do during that year so that it’s meaningful to them … not just taking a year off for the sake of taking a year off. It might be traveling, it might be doing some volunteer work, it might be working on a job,” says Lips.

Annie is optimistic about her year abroad.

“You come back with an open mind and you’ve just learned so much stuff. You learn from people who are different from you. You learn about yourself,” says Annie.

Tips for Parents


For some people, the prospect of starting college, especially going away to school, is scary. It's probably the first time that you'll be totally responsible for your own schedule. What if you intend to go to college but just don't feel ready to start or take a full-time job after high school graduation? You might want to take a year off to pause and regroup. This practice is common in some countries, such as the United Kingdom, where it's called a "gap year." (Nemours Foundation)


Taking time off doesn't mean you should ignore the idea of applying to college. In fact, you may want to consider making your college plans before you become involved in other things, especially if you'll be traveling. Apply to schools and make your choice, then ask for a deferred admission. (Nemours Foundation)


Even if you decide not to apply to college, it can be a great idea to take a year to do something you may not have an opportunity to do again. Lots of volunteer organizations would welcome your time and energy and would provide you with a wonderful learning experience. (Nemours Foundation)


If you take a year off, you will likely learn great life skills -- such as living on a tight budget! Plan how you'll pay your way while you're traveling or doing volunteer work. Can you live at home or with friends? Get a part-time job? (Nemours Foundation)
Taking a year off can give you time to clarify your goals and plan for the future. You may be able to earn money to fund future plans, e.g. graduate study. (Durham University)


A gap year may heighten your enthusiasm for further study and work. You may gain new skills valued by employers, such as team working, organizational skills and problem-solving. (Durham University)


References
Nemours Foundation
Durham University

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Sue Scheff: Inhalant Abuse Among Teens and Pre-teens


Inhalant Abuse is a growing problem among teens and pre-teens and a major concern for parents today.


Inhalant Abuse is a lesser-known form of substance abuse, but is no less dangerous than other forms.The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service has reported that more than 2.1 million children in America experiment with some form of an inhalant each year and the Centers for Disease Control lists inhalants as second only to marijuana for illicit drug use among youth.


As a parent advocate, I believe parents need to be aware of this critical issue today. I am extremely grateful to the parent that wrote me and asked me to speak out and spread the awareness. She lost a son from inhaling air freshener. As a parent, she always spoke to her kids about substance abuse, but never knew about Inhalant Abuse.


For more information on this deadly growing epidemic visit http://www.inhalant.org/ - it could save a life today.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Youth Gang Statistics


Youth gang activity is a significant problem in the United States. The following are statistics related to youth violence and gang activities:

14 percent of teens are gang members (according to a survey in Denver)

89 percent of serious violent crimes committed by teens were committed by gang members
Gang members are 60 percent more likely to be killed
The average age of a gang member is 17 to 18 years old
25 percent of gang members are between the age of 15 and 17
Police reports indicate that 6 percent of gang members are female and that 39 percent of gangs have female members

Of female gang members:

78 percent have been in a gang fight
65 percent carry a weapon for protection
39 percent have attacked someone with a weapon

Youth gang activity by area type:

72 percent of large cities
33 percent of small cities
56 percent of suburban counties
24 percent of rural counties
51 percent overall

Youth gang activity by region:

74 percent in the West
52 percent in the Midwest
49 percent in the South
31 percent in the Northeast
51 percent overall